3.29.09~The Best Birthday

Okay, if you know me already, I don't enjoy my birthday as much as other people enjoy theirs. A couple of incidents have happened during my past birthdays. Everytime I think about it, it makes me wish I don't even have a birthday. So turning 16 years old this year sounded like a drag. But then a couple of people stepped in and broke the curse.

It all started at the beginning of March, when Nikki mentioned she wanted to throw me a birthday party. My first reaction was 'Oh goodness, I actually have to do something for my birthday..' The next days, and weeks, we argued over why she was doing this. I didn't understand why she cared so much, and she never understood why I don't care at all. But throughout the month, I started to agree with her and appreciated what she was doing. My mom told me I should be thankful that she can do all of this for me. I started to see how much Nikki wanted this. I feel so stupid that I didn't notice it before. I kept looking at the past, blinding me from the future.

Weeks passed. It was the eve of my birthday and birthday party. I was talking to Andrew on the phone. I told him before about the terrible circumstances and his response was so confident: "It's okiee, Jacey. Your 16th will be a new tradition." LOL. I don't know if he remembers saying that, but I definetly heard it. Haha, by the time it reached midnight he greeted me a happy birthday and dozed right off.

It was the 29th of March. My 16 years of breathing. I had to be at Andrew's house by 5pm because that's where Nikki is throwing the party. Nikki wouldn't let me see the decorations so I just hid in Andrew's room until she actually let me out. Nikki went upstairs and we both got ready. We chit chatted, did make-up, and laughed in Andrew's bedroom. I changed into a stunning dress, wearing high, black heels and hair curled. I sat up there, waiting. I decided to call Levine Ching. He told me he couldn't come to the party and I was mad. So was Nikki and Andrew. xD

The party started off with playing UNO. I swear, that game is so intense. Andrew played some music and I wanted to dance, so I switched my shoes. When everybody was outside playing in the streets, I felt like breakdancing, so when Nikki wasn't looking, I ran upstairs and changed into my comfy clothes. I HAVE THE WORST TIMING EVER. Once I came downstairs dressed all bleh, Nikki blindfolded me and spun me around so much that I got dizzy. Then before I knew it, someone snatched the blindfold from my face and right in front of me was Nikki V., Judith, Nicole.... and Levine. I couldn't think right at that moment, I couldn't even tell what my face looked like but I heard it was HILARIOUS. My friends scream "SURPRISE!" and I go and give Levine a hug. I was so flustered. LMFAO I can't believe he tricked me.

I was so happy he came. My birthday wish came true (: It's too bad I changed. I got angry at myself for changing. That would've stunned him (; I got to sit next to him and talk to him. Trust me, I enjoyed it. Until he had to leave because he had school the next day -_-'

So I got to spend the rest of the party with my good friends. I breakdanced, I ate, I smiled. My parents came and that means it was time to clean up. The rest of us helped out. The party soon ended in Andrew's room with the guitar playing. It was a beautiful day.

Around midnight my family went out looking for a restaurant that was still open. Why? I needed to eat noodles, it's a tradition. I would've had spaghetti but, unfortunately, Judith didn't bring me any spaghetti. RETARD! xD JK. You know I love you. After, I got home and my 16th birthday was offficially over. The old curse was broken and a new tradition started. No wonder they call it SWEET 16. Thanks everybody. (:

p.s.- pics should be up soon! check back.

****TO NIKKI HERRERA:
Thank you very much for this once in a lifetime deal. I never would have guessed that my birthday could succeed. But it did and it's all because of you. Without this party, I wouldn't have seen my old friend, Gabbie, or have my friends make new friends, or get to see Levine. You are a special friend that I can't even describe in actual words. Sometimes I feel I don't deserve you, but I'm so thankful that I have you. I love you best friend. It's been ten years together and I hope there's ten million more to come. THANK YOU VERY MUCHO.


--iJACEY

Problems

As a growing teen, I face many problems. Not just at school, not just at home, but there seems to be jam at every turn. I don't know about you other kids out there, but I feel so lost. It's like no one can undertsand me sometimes. I can't let it out so easily, I just don't want the attention. But I constantly think about it, about the problems I'm trying to avoid. All it does, though, is bring me closer to facing them.

My problems are no bigger than what other teens face: crushes, parents, siblings, homework. HMPH. But there's so many that clutters in my brain, I start feeling so numb. There are moments I'm with my friends and then all of a sudden I shut up because a bad thought comes to mind. Personally, I'd rather listen to other people's troubles. I like to support them and make sure they know I'm there for them. Maybe I could learn from them, and fix my own self.

At school, I face a large number of problems. I don't think those are to be mentioned at the moment ;O But common school problems are like crushes, right? So, of course, I have a little crush on a guy (; and but I don't know what to do. Am I supposed to be the one that constantly reaches out to him, doesn't he have to start a conversation atleast once..? I'm not very good at this, lol.

One other thing, my brother and his class of 2k9, is finally going to high school. Oh goodness. I'm proud of him, don't get me wrong. I have his back. I'm just so scared that I'm going to have to watch it for the rest of my years there. He'll be such a little freshman, so confused. Even though he's... "maturing", if that's even possible, I still see him as a little troubled boy who needs guidance. It's getting so close to that moment where I see him during lunch and he's chilling with his new friends... I sure hope that his new friends aren't complete retards. I have to learn to let go of his hand.. and let him walk by himself. I just haven't reached that yet.

Another thing about my family, my parents are giving me trouble. I'm almost 16 yrs. old! And they need to back off no more than a smudge. My mom is always up in my BIZ. When I want to tell her something, she loses focus on me. But when its something she doesn't need to know, she'll just keep asking. **SIGH** They ARE right sometimes, like staying on the phone too late can ruin my schedule. But they don't need to assume more than that, they don't need to know why I'm on the phone or what am I talking about. Honestly, I don't know who IS right or wrong, but all of us is definetly at fault here.

These complications sound so small when they're said out loud. But why do I feel so busted on the inside? I need to do something to fix my life, so one day I can be free of botheration. I'm pretty sure it will come to me, though. It should take some time. Although, I have little patience -_- Is there anyone out there with me?