Oh, It Is Love.

I have to be honest, from the moment I met you, I didn't expect a story like this. I thought it was just going to be another night that I'll soon forget. Well, you completely proved me wrong. Who knew it'd be you...

I met you and thought, at first, that you were a nice boy who's head wasn't in the sky. Kinda like the boy next door. We had a conversation, and for being the first one we've ever had, it was deep and one I couldn't forget. You were something I've never seen before, someone I've never encountered. I realized from then on, you were rare.

I wanted to keep you that night. But of course, all fun comes to an end. I kept thinking about you the whole week after that. I was all right, though. I just thought it was a fling that could've possibly lasted one night. Although, I felt that had to see you again, but I didn't until a month later. And boy, did that feel awkward! Anyways, I grew closer to you that second time. So close, that you became mine.. and I soon became yours. <3

Every morning I wake up and have every reason to smile. You bring joy to my life and I would never want that taken away. You have been the best thing that has happen to me. I love you so much, and every single day, my love for you grows. I'm never letting you go, okay?

Just saying (:


--iJACEY_

Michael Jackson - RIP

There are no words that can express how I feel about the loss of Michael Jackson. He was a Hollywood Icon, the King of Pop, he was my hero.

On the 26th of June, I had summer school. After school, I went with Chris, John and Jeremy to eat pizza at Costco. We had fun. Christian's mother dropped me and my brother off at home while my dad was watching Cash Cab. I got a bunch of text messages telling me "Michael Jacksons dead," "RIP Michael Jackson," "RIPMJ." I thought 'No, it couldn't be. This has got to be chain letter.' Because, you know, I hate chain letters. They are so ridiculous! Anyways, I started to panic and my dad changed the channel to CNN.

"MICHAEL JACKSON PRONOUNCED DEAD OF HEART ATTACK"

'No, it can't be. That's not right. He's so young, he had so much to fulfill! He's dead, he's gone.'

Honestly, I couldn't believe it at first. Up to this moment, I can't grasp that information. How could this have happen? He was here just a moment ago, then he was taken away just like that. Don't go, please come back.

I know that people constantly make fun of him. I know that his reputation isn't the best. The crowd claims he's crazy. HEY, WHO ISN'T? The man had issues. I would never ever blame him for it. Everybody, this man is my hero. His music keeps me sane. His lyrics save the world. His moves move everybody. There would not be other artists out there today if it wasnt for him. I'd thank him if I saw him at this very moment. I thank him all the time. I wouldn't be who I am today if I never listened to his amazing music while growing up.

That same day, I decided to take dance class with Jeremy. My teacher decided to play Michael Jackson's music all duration of class. Of course she would, she loves him as much as anybody else. I told my friends how sad I am that he's gone. And what ticked me off BIG TIME is what one of them said to me, "It's not like you knew him. So what's the point." HEY PAL, I DIDN'T SAY THIS TO YOU IN YOUR FACE, THOUGH I SHOULD HAVE: JUST BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW THE MAN PERSONALLY, HAVE SOME RESPECT. HE WAS MY HERO. THERE WOULDN'T BE ME, THERE WOULDN'T BE JAHNNA, THERE WOULDN'T BE JOEY. HIM BEING GONE, HE TOOK A PIECE OF ALL OF US WITH HIM. FROM NOW ON, SOMETHING IS MISSING THAT NO ONE CAN EXLAIN. OKAY?! I CAN'T BELIEVE A PERSON LIKE YOU WOULD JUST ACT LIKE THAT TOWARDS THE PASSING OF THE GREATEST POPSTAR IN THE HISTORY OF THE HISTORY! HAVE SOME RESPECT, 'CAUSE I AIN'T GIVING YOU ANY ANYMORE.

...Phew, glad I got that off my chest. Haha (: All in all, Michael Jackson was the most amazing person to ever moonwalked in my life. He is going to stay in my heart forever. Have respect for the man. He was a good person. Gotta love him. REST IN PARADISE, MR. JACKSON. I'M GOING TO MISS YOU TERRIBLY.

--iJACEY_

SBS Class of 2k9

First off, CONGRATULATIONS TO THE SBS CLASS OF 2009!! I am extremely proud of you guys for making it this far. It has been a long road from Kindergarten to 8th grade. Those 9 years together had a lot of time for bonding and learning about eachother. I see how you guys are a Family. It's a beautiful family when I look at it.


You guys are growing up too fast. I still cannot believe you guys are about to enter the mysterious wonders of High School! It just seems so big and I still look at you guys as my cute 6th grade friends. But I know this was bound to happen; To see you guys walk down that aisle and receive that diploma. It all seems like a dream; Such a tearful, joyous dream.

I remember when you guys were only in 6th grade. And I was the one in 8th grade. Damn, we had some silly times. From talking on the phone to chilling at the mall and watching Norbit. As Charles Dickens wrote, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." I can't ever forget the fun we had, even if I tried. I hope you don't forget either.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I had to graduate. I'm sorry I had to go to high school. I'm sorry I didn't visit frequently. I'm sorry I missed out on 7th and 8th grade with you. I'm sorry I lost you guys. These past 2 years, I've missed you guys. I can't ever replace you people. You guys are so unique in ways that cannot be put into words. Life happens, I know. People constantly told me that it was just a phase; That friends come and go. I have been told that I should leave you alone, because it's not like you needed me anymore. It felt like I needed to prove that I can do better than to cling on you all the time. I can't believe I actually let that get into my head. MY APOLOGIES. I hope you forgive me, let's be friends yeah? (;

That is why I have been so excited for you guys to enter High School. REUNITED AND IT FEELS SO GOOD! I love you guys to the max. I love you, PATTY, you're there when I need to talk about something. I love you JEREMY, you dork. I love you, CHRIS, whose always been there for me. I love you, KAYLA, you mahhh sister foo'! I love TRISHAAA even though she's somewhere else across the land. Since I have no time to write everyone's name, I LOVE EVERYONE ELSE; MY FRIENDS, MY HOMIES, MY COMPADRES.

peace <3 and congrats.


--iJACEY_

Tragic Flaws

In english class, we had to write a journal page about what our tragic flaws are. Since I haven't written a blog in a while, (it's not like anyone reads my blogs anyways :p) I've decided to interpret my journal in this blog:

Tragic Flaw- A character defect that causes the downfall of the protagonist of a tragedy.

I'm pretty sure I have plenty of flaws in me. I can name some hundred things wrong with me and still wouldn't be half way through the list. One flaw is my internal pessimism. Whether it's a person, an event, or a test, a bad thought is the first thing that comes to my mind. I happen to be very judgmental, I guess. There's never a day where I pass by something or someone and not make fun of it. It's just natural! Ask my friends; They've endured me this past year and every comment I make is either stupid, or racial. Why? I have absolutely NO idea, it just makes my day feel just a little better. I call it internal because MOST (just most) of the time, I keep them a secret. Some thoughts are meant to stay in my mind and not wander around where they shouldnt be, sorda like a zit; Most of them are on your face, it shouldn't be anywhere else, because that's hella weird. My thoughts are to myself, not to others. The ones that deserve to be said out loud, are said out loud, but sometimes, no everyone hears me. So I guess it's all good!

One time, during lunch, I was eating and chilling with my friends. I was in the middle of talking to Leeann, Rachelle and Regina when I heard the craziest cackle laugh noise. It was like "KA-HA-HA.. KA-HAA!" But in a really high pitched voice. I looked and it happened to be this cute senior boy who's table is only a couple tables away. Leeann knows what I mean by this boy. (; For the rest of the day and then some, I've made fun of his stupid laugh. I'd go around KA-HA-ing and now Kevin is like WTF, JACEY. Oh man, you should hear it. It totally caught me off gaurd. It was effing loud for the whole world to hear. It's a good thing he's pretty, because his laugh wouldn't be the only thing I'd make comments on.

I know I have bad reactions. I know that most of the things I say are rude. I know I can be a terrible human being. My mom constantly tells me I have to try and be humble. Well, I'm working on it! I just can't help it most of the time. It all just blurts out. It's my reflex to stupid things. AND I SEE STUPID THINGS EVERYDAY. Sincere apologies to those I make fun of. It's my disease that I cannot cure at the moment. Like cancer, I shall find a cure and heal this abnormal sickness.

There are a lot more tragic flaws that alter my personality around. Now, that I've realized some of them, I should turn them around and make up a good quality. It's something I'm working on to make myself a better person. Soon enough, I'm going to have the positive-er-est-ness mind in the world!!... HAHAHAHA, YEE RIGHT, WHO AM I KIDDING..

--iJACEY.

comment me!!

Sleepy?

What is wrong with me? I'm always so tired. All I've been doing is sleep, sleep, sleep. I'm usually such an upbeat person. Now, I'm so boring and drowsy that I can barely walk! At home, I nap. At school, I nap. At my mom's work, I nap, get in trouble for napping and then nap some more! My friends told me to drink some energy drinks but... that ain't working, buddy. I think there's something wrong with me.
This is definetly not the right time to be lazy. It's almost the end of the school year and I have so much to do. Let's see... My brother is graduating 8th grade (FUTURE FRESHMAN!!), I have my Spring Showcase at CSUN (MAY 16-17!!), Lori's having a Sweet Sixteen, Judith is getting confirmed... anything else?!? Atleast summer is almost here.
Actually, I think it's the heat. It's getting to me. The sun makes me lazy. I just lounge like, whatever. Or maybe I just think too much. There is too many things going on in my mind that maybe it decided to slow down a bit. WELL, no time for that. Gots to get back to work. Hopefully, I'm back to normal and not always yelling while standing right next to Leeann. -__-'

--iJACEY

iWRITE poetry?!

LOL. So Spring Break is coming. My school only has one week of vacation. Strange, isn't it? I wish I had two. It makes things more interesting (; I was talking on the phone when I felt like writing some poetry. A couple tries failed, but 3rd times the charm. (: I read it outloud to Levine on the phone. But he was too busy multi-tasking and didn't hear me, so I posted this up for him:

"SPRING BREAK"
What am I gonna do?
Spring Break should be fun
I wanna go to the beach
and lie in the sun
Go hang with friends
and chill at the mall
Take some pictures
We'll be having a ball
It's too bad I only have 9 days
18 for Levine
With all that free time in his hands
He better come see me.

--iJACEY <3

3.29.09~The Best Birthday

Okay, if you know me already, I don't enjoy my birthday as much as other people enjoy theirs. A couple of incidents have happened during my past birthdays. Everytime I think about it, it makes me wish I don't even have a birthday. So turning 16 years old this year sounded like a drag. But then a couple of people stepped in and broke the curse.

It all started at the beginning of March, when Nikki mentioned she wanted to throw me a birthday party. My first reaction was 'Oh goodness, I actually have to do something for my birthday..' The next days, and weeks, we argued over why she was doing this. I didn't understand why she cared so much, and she never understood why I don't care at all. But throughout the month, I started to agree with her and appreciated what she was doing. My mom told me I should be thankful that she can do all of this for me. I started to see how much Nikki wanted this. I feel so stupid that I didn't notice it before. I kept looking at the past, blinding me from the future.

Weeks passed. It was the eve of my birthday and birthday party. I was talking to Andrew on the phone. I told him before about the terrible circumstances and his response was so confident: "It's okiee, Jacey. Your 16th will be a new tradition." LOL. I don't know if he remembers saying that, but I definetly heard it. Haha, by the time it reached midnight he greeted me a happy birthday and dozed right off.

It was the 29th of March. My 16 years of breathing. I had to be at Andrew's house by 5pm because that's where Nikki is throwing the party. Nikki wouldn't let me see the decorations so I just hid in Andrew's room until she actually let me out. Nikki went upstairs and we both got ready. We chit chatted, did make-up, and laughed in Andrew's bedroom. I changed into a stunning dress, wearing high, black heels and hair curled. I sat up there, waiting. I decided to call Levine Ching. He told me he couldn't come to the party and I was mad. So was Nikki and Andrew. xD

The party started off with playing UNO. I swear, that game is so intense. Andrew played some music and I wanted to dance, so I switched my shoes. When everybody was outside playing in the streets, I felt like breakdancing, so when Nikki wasn't looking, I ran upstairs and changed into my comfy clothes. I HAVE THE WORST TIMING EVER. Once I came downstairs dressed all bleh, Nikki blindfolded me and spun me around so much that I got dizzy. Then before I knew it, someone snatched the blindfold from my face and right in front of me was Nikki V., Judith, Nicole.... and Levine. I couldn't think right at that moment, I couldn't even tell what my face looked like but I heard it was HILARIOUS. My friends scream "SURPRISE!" and I go and give Levine a hug. I was so flustered. LMFAO I can't believe he tricked me.

I was so happy he came. My birthday wish came true (: It's too bad I changed. I got angry at myself for changing. That would've stunned him (; I got to sit next to him and talk to him. Trust me, I enjoyed it. Until he had to leave because he had school the next day -_-'

So I got to spend the rest of the party with my good friends. I breakdanced, I ate, I smiled. My parents came and that means it was time to clean up. The rest of us helped out. The party soon ended in Andrew's room with the guitar playing. It was a beautiful day.

Around midnight my family went out looking for a restaurant that was still open. Why? I needed to eat noodles, it's a tradition. I would've had spaghetti but, unfortunately, Judith didn't bring me any spaghetti. RETARD! xD JK. You know I love you. After, I got home and my 16th birthday was offficially over. The old curse was broken and a new tradition started. No wonder they call it SWEET 16. Thanks everybody. (:

p.s.- pics should be up soon! check back.

****TO NIKKI HERRERA:
Thank you very much for this once in a lifetime deal. I never would have guessed that my birthday could succeed. But it did and it's all because of you. Without this party, I wouldn't have seen my old friend, Gabbie, or have my friends make new friends, or get to see Levine. You are a special friend that I can't even describe in actual words. Sometimes I feel I don't deserve you, but I'm so thankful that I have you. I love you best friend. It's been ten years together and I hope there's ten million more to come. THANK YOU VERY MUCHO.


--iJACEY

Problems

As a growing teen, I face many problems. Not just at school, not just at home, but there seems to be jam at every turn. I don't know about you other kids out there, but I feel so lost. It's like no one can undertsand me sometimes. I can't let it out so easily, I just don't want the attention. But I constantly think about it, about the problems I'm trying to avoid. All it does, though, is bring me closer to facing them.

My problems are no bigger than what other teens face: crushes, parents, siblings, homework. HMPH. But there's so many that clutters in my brain, I start feeling so numb. There are moments I'm with my friends and then all of a sudden I shut up because a bad thought comes to mind. Personally, I'd rather listen to other people's troubles. I like to support them and make sure they know I'm there for them. Maybe I could learn from them, and fix my own self.

At school, I face a large number of problems. I don't think those are to be mentioned at the moment ;O But common school problems are like crushes, right? So, of course, I have a little crush on a guy (; and but I don't know what to do. Am I supposed to be the one that constantly reaches out to him, doesn't he have to start a conversation atleast once..? I'm not very good at this, lol.

One other thing, my brother and his class of 2k9, is finally going to high school. Oh goodness. I'm proud of him, don't get me wrong. I have his back. I'm just so scared that I'm going to have to watch it for the rest of my years there. He'll be such a little freshman, so confused. Even though he's... "maturing", if that's even possible, I still see him as a little troubled boy who needs guidance. It's getting so close to that moment where I see him during lunch and he's chilling with his new friends... I sure hope that his new friends aren't complete retards. I have to learn to let go of his hand.. and let him walk by himself. I just haven't reached that yet.

Another thing about my family, my parents are giving me trouble. I'm almost 16 yrs. old! And they need to back off no more than a smudge. My mom is always up in my BIZ. When I want to tell her something, she loses focus on me. But when its something she doesn't need to know, she'll just keep asking. **SIGH** They ARE right sometimes, like staying on the phone too late can ruin my schedule. But they don't need to assume more than that, they don't need to know why I'm on the phone or what am I talking about. Honestly, I don't know who IS right or wrong, but all of us is definetly at fault here.

These complications sound so small when they're said out loud. But why do I feel so busted on the inside? I need to do something to fix my life, so one day I can be free of botheration. I'm pretty sure it will come to me, though. It should take some time. Although, I have little patience -_- Is there anyone out there with me?

My History

Back then, in middle school, I thought I had it all. I was on top of the food chain. I had my friends along side with me. We conquered. But time was passing by and we knew that one day it would all end. So we lived our young lives to the fullest. Everywhere I went, my best friend was there with me, attached to my hip. We watched movies, partied, chilled and laughed. Life back then was so priceless.

8th grade graduation came. That was a night for joy, but also with tears. For the next school year, we would be attending different places. My best friends and I promised eachother that we would be best friends forever, that we would be sisters for life. For the rest of summer we chatted because we had nothing else to do. Lol.

Freshman year started. And of course, I started out looking like the typical freshman: big backpack; baggy clothes; lunch pale. But other than that, school was getting too busy with all the homework and projects we did. It caused me to lose connection with my girls. The more andmore I got into the high school gig, the less I'd talk to my friends. We used to talk everyday, to once in a while, to no response. It pained me.

During that year, I had no choice but to chill with one of my old school friends. She seemed to be quite the popular one and I thought I could have some of that. As I sat at their lunch table, I thought something was wrong. It felt weird to sit there, but I would sit there all the time! Then one day, it hit me. I don't belong here. What the fudge am I doing, sitting with a bunch of girls I have nothing in common with? No offense to them, they are my homies, but I had to sit somewhere else. So then i moved to another table. It was ok, better. But it hasn't filled that hole of where my old friends used to be. I MISSED THEM LIKE HELL. Freshman year ended. I thought of what had happened in the past year and felt like it was a pretty good year. Little did I know what was in for me at sophomore year.

I started sophomore year fresh. Still wishing I was with my home girls. But I knew.. it ain't gonna happen. I would always think about it, the promise we made. In that promise, we said we wouldn't move on. We'd always argue about that topic. I regret that that ever happened...



New classes, and a couple new people. I chose to return to my lunch table. It was strange, I started to talk less and less in the crowd. It was like I didn't fit in anymore. I had no one to talk to. I was left out. Sometimes, I would see my old school friend, as I said earlier, but she wouldn't be much in the mood to hang with me. And when I did hang out with her, I wouldn't pay much attention to her conversation. NO OFFENSE, LOL. My mind just wanders off.



At first, I'd feel all depressed because I had no real friends. I missed my old life so much, that I got so angry on the inside. My mom always asked me why I'm so cranky, she thought maybe I was just hungry. I avoided going to school too early and tried to leave right away. It was hell, and I thought it wasn't going to get better.



BUT soon enough, I met this guy in one of my classes. Some tall, asian guy with a spiky haircut. Eh. I thought he was really chill at first, definetly funny. I didn't mind him much, my anger blocked all feelings. This one really hot day was the day my teacher came late to class. We stood outside waiting for her. I was quite irritated. But I noticed this one thing. The tall asian guy was doing something strange with his feet. I was thinking 'What's he doing?...' I laughed. He tried to glide with his feet. (x

"What are you doing?" I finally asked him.

He looked, laughed sheepishly, and said, "I'm trying to glide."

HA! I showed him. I glided him out! That was a funny day. A week later, he comes in and glides me out. Dude, wtf?xD LAME.

So this dude, who likes to glide away, starts being all "nice" to me. It's cool. Still, I didn't mind it. I was still a loner, but he never realized it. I guess one day, when I saw him and his friend, I walked over to his lunch table. Honestly, I don't like meeting new people. It terrified me. It was weird at the beginning because I don't talk to these people that much. But they are so deng funny, I just laughed and laughed. I started to sit there everyday and talk to them. I like to consider them my new friends.

Now, I always want to get to school early and stay after school late so I can chill with my friends longer. This is my group, my fun, my place. I have so much in common with these people. It's a never ending roller coaster of fun. I know that I haven't been able to have this much fun since... before high school. They are my dim light. xD

I have found my way through the high school playground. I never thought I could make it out. But my friends and I can conquer. Soon enough, I'll be back on top of the food chain. Through time, I realize that people come and go, and even though they're gone, I still have my memories and I still have my own life to live. I can't keep trying to live in the past, because I'm missing out on the present.

~iJACEY~021609